If you are having trouble with your weight, with your nutrition, with your motivation, I can tell you what to do.
I can tell you how to fix all of it.
But you don’t want to hear it. (And you shouldn’t!)
I can certainly tell you what foods you should or shouldn’t eat, what exercises you need to be doing, and what activities that you need to fulfill yourself, but that doesn’t mean that I should.
But wait a minute, as a health coach, doesn’t that pretty much go against my entire being? Isn’t that what I’m here for — to tell you what to do to magically make things better?
I think this is the biggest misconception about working with coaches, and about change in lifestyle in general. It is not up to me to create these changes for you, it is up to us to work together to create the change that you want, and do it in the way that is best for you. (Note I didn’t say easiest.) You see, change must come from within you. It can not, and should not, come from someone on the outside giving you a list of “musts”, and “shouldn’ts” and “nevers”.
When we think start to think about change, we sometimes come to the conclusion that someone else has all of the answers, and that there must be some easy way out there to end up where you want to be. Truthfully, when it comes to health and wellness, there is no one set list of answers that will get everyone to their goals. Sure, there are some general guidelines that are usually a good idea to follow (limit fast food, move regularly), but even those have spectrums and variables and wiggle room depending on each situation.
And I can tell you from experience, that yes, I can tell you what to do, what to eat, and exactly how much to exercise, and you might think that you want to hear it, but you don’t. If you’re looking for a change from your current health or nutrition status, that change is only sustainable if it comes from reasons that are within you, working towards goals that also come from within you. This is especially important to realize, and extremely difficult to comprehend, if you’re one of the many women who has been stuck on the same weight-loss/self-loathing/roller-coaster for the past X amount of years. I see and hear of so many women who try the same things over and over again, jumping from one set of answers to the next, only to continuously end up in the same place they have been. Why is that? What is stopping them (you?) from making changes and creating the progress that you want?
These are the answers that I can help you with. As a health coach, I am here to help you to delve deeper into how to make this work. Let’s leave the must’s, never’s, and shouldn’t’s behind, and create a new narrative. One that helps you to make the changes that you’ve been looking for, the changes that will provide you with true, sustainable change, and the strategies to keep it up on your own.
With all of this being said, if you find yourself in the presence of a trainer or coach who thinks that they have all of the answers to your future health, take what they say with a grain of salt. Yes, personal trainers often write programs, and in that case, we are “telling” you what to do. But your coach should not tell you that the only way to your goals is by eating paleo, by doing olympic lifts if they make you uncomfortable, or by running a marathon. And they shouldn’t tell you NOT to do these things either. What they should do is listen, work to find a strategy that will work for you, help you to find your specific “why’s”, and help you to find the “what” that will help you to get there.